I don't wanna be normal if it hurt you this much
by ws1016
Summary: "Soul Eater Evans..why did you do this to me? It's lonely without you here..I still love you so much..I want you and I need you..why soul..? just..why?" black star cried and collapsed..the last thing he can hear was tsubaki calling his name and then all o
1. Break up , Hurt , Pain , Betrayal

_**DISCLAIMER : I OWN NOTHING BUT THE STORY LINES , ALL THINGS GO TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNER**_

**_AND THIS IS MY STORY FROM ASIANFANFICS : WINNIE_1016 & SOUL_STAR , THOSE TWO ACCOUNT IS MINE SO I DIDN'T STEAL IT OR COPY IT OR WHATEVER_**

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Third Person' POV

It's already night,but Black Star is still wandering around the town, alone , while crying in the 's word echoed in his mind and driving him crazy..

-FlashBack-

It was the day after their relationship anniversary,they were going out for years and soul is the one who broke their relationship and making black star not in his usual cheerful and narsistic mind..

"hey,black star" soul called

"what is it,soul?" black star looked soul was calling him with his full name

"I'm..I'm so..so.. sorry.." soul stuttered

"for what,soul?" black star looked more confused

Soul took a deep breath and said "Let's..let's break up.."

Black Star laughed nervously

"you're kidding right? This isn't funny,dummy"

"no,black star..I'm serious..I want to end this relationship..This is wrong.." soul choked back his tears

"Why soul? WHY?! WHat's wrong with our relationship?! we were going out for 5 years and you seem didn't disturbed by anything like that! why now?When my feeling got stronger for you ?! FINE Then,Leave"

"w-what?"

"If you want to break up,Please LEAVE NOW! I'm the great blackstar that surpass god..I'm not begging for you to be with me ..If you want to leave,Please just LEAVE now! I'm sick of you,Soul..!" Black Star cried and looked up to soul who is still standing in front of him,stunned

"It's not like that,black star..I still love you..but I just want to be normal like the oth-" soul tried to explained..but It was just making the scene worst..

"SHUT THE FUCK OFF , YOU , SON OF A BITCH! I DON'T NEED ANY OF YPUR BULLSHIT! NOW JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO TO DATE WITH SOME BITCHES!" black star explode and shouted so loud,making soul froezed because of his sudden outburst and tsubaki come to see what happened to black star and calm him down

Tsubaki hugged black star and gestured soul to leave..soul didn't speak anything but nodded and go,anyway..

Black Star sniffled to tsubaki chest..Tsubaki was calming him,murmuring some calming word,but it didn't help..

"Ssh..Black Star..tell me what happened..sshh..calm down..You're the greatest one and only,Black Star..calm downn"

with that,Black star calmed a bit and tell tsubaki waht was happening and tsubaki was fuming now..

"leave it to me,black star,I will beat him for doing this to you.." Tsubaki was about to turn around when black star grabbed her wrist..

"don't.." black star whispered

Tsubaki sighed and hugged him..

"you love him so much,don't you?" she questioned

"yeah,I love him..even surpassing my love to myself"

Tsubaki nodded and said "now,I will leave you alone alright? To think about what will you do.." gesturing to her room

"yeah..thanks tsubaki.."

"you're always welcome" tsubaki smiled..

Black star returned with the sad one..then she leave

"Damn you,soul eater evans..how could you do this to him,you heartless bastard..if he doesn't stop me,you'll sure be a dead meat now.." tsubaki murmured to herself

-EnD Of FlashBack-

"Soul Eater Evans..why did you do this to me? It's lonely without you here..I still love you so much..I want you and I need you..why soul..? just..why?" black star cried and collapsed..the last thing he can hear was tsubaki calling his name and then all of his surrounding going black..


	2. Girlfriend

Black star POV

When I wake up,It's already morning and I was in my room..

"Tsubaki..!" I called but got no respons

Then I go out to find where the hell is she..but found no one in there..then when i wwalked to dining room,I see a piece of note and a bowl of cereal..I read the note that says..

" Dear,Black Star Good morning,black star..are you feeling well? I'm going to school(in case if you are wondering where did I go)..and I said to the teacher that you are sick..Calm down..I won't let the guys go to our apartment..

Love,Tsubaki"

I smiled and eat the breakfast that were prepared by tsubaki..after finishing it,I go back to my room and lay back down..thinking about the event that happening a yesterday..and started crying again..

"why soul? Why?!" I questioned myself..and cried more then I was fast asleep

Soul POV

School..it's really boring and today black star didn't show up..only tsubaki.. Tsubaki is acting weird..she looks like she would kill me anytime..and always glared daggers at my direction..may be to maka..my new girlfriend and my technicians..

"hey,soul..what's wrong?" maka questioned me..

"a-ah..nothing..nothing" I stuttered ..I know that she find it weird but not questioning me any further..

we continued to walk towards our gangs..we hold hands when we walked but I didn't feel any feeling that I feel with my Black Star..no..he's not mine anymore..I broke his heart..I broke him..I still love him so much..but I want to be normal too..

"yo..hey guys.." I greeted ..they're all greeted back except tsubaki who was busy glaring at me..then she faked a smile and greet us back..

"oh..I have something to announce.." I said

"what is it? What is it?" liz and patty asked,curious

"me..and maka..is dating.." I said nervously and blushed

"what? When?" patty asked,excited..

"yesterday.." maka answered shyly and blushed

I see tsubaki eyes widened as she clenched her hand until her knuckles go white..and when I see her eyes, it was filled with hatred and anger..and confused? Why?

The she stood up and leave..

" I'm going home to see how is black star doing.." was the last thing we heard from her before she leave

Then it flashed through my mind,Black Star..she heard what happening yesterday..so that's why it looks like she wanted to kill me so bad..

"what's wrong with her? She seemed really shocked when we said we are dating..she's acting weird.." maka asked worriedly

I shrugged and tell her to forget it..

Tsubaki POV

I can't believe it..I CAN'T BELIEVE IT and I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT! I screamed in my mind..

Why soul? Why did you do this to black star?! You broke up with him yesterday and when you leave you were asking maka out?! What kind of monster are you,SOUL EVANS?!

I'm going crazy too..I can feel what black star feels..I have to tell him even If it would hurt him so bad..

I run to our apartment and opened the door calling for black star..

"Black star,I'm homeee~~" I faked a cheerful tone..only for him..I want him to smile again.. But I got no answer so I checked to his room..ah..he's sleeping..

"Blaaa~~ck Starr, wake upp..then go shower" i called sweetly

He groaned but got up and leave the room to take a shower.. After taking shower,he came back in the room..where I was waiting for him.. Oh my god..his eyes were red and puffy because of the crying..poor black star.. Soul,you bastard..

"black star..I have to tell you something..and I know it would hurt you..but you deserve to know.." i said seriously

"what is it?" he asked with a poker face

"soul..he.." i can't finished my sentence

"what's wrong with soul?" he asked with the same expression

"he and maka are going out.." i manage to finish it

"oh..since when?" he asked..tearing up a bit but trying to hold his tear back..

"y..yesterday.."

Then he broke .. He is crying again because of soul..and maka..I run and hug him tightly and he hugged back..sobbing so hard..

I hate them..I hate them for making black star hurt and cry..i want to destroy them..i want to destroy they relationship..but black star won't be happy..he said that when soul is happy he is happy too..so I can't do it..

I tried to calm him down but I can't .. I'm so frustated right now..and after a while of crying,he was asleep again in my arms..I kissed his cheek and place him in his bed to sleep comfortably..


	3. It's all Because of YOU

Tsubaki POV

Today I woke up early and make a breakfast + note for blackstar again..I don't want him to go to school yet..I don't want him to see soul and maka acting lovey dovey and make him hurt again..

After done with the note,I leave the apartment to go for school..and then I heard a loud 'bang' sound..

Black star POV

I was wide awake when I heard tsubaki's sound..then when I was dazed..I'm thinking about a fantastic plan..and wait for tsubaki to leave..

When I though tsubaki was gone now..I go to the kitchen to took the knife and placed it on my wrist...I cut deeply at my wrist and it started to bleed..the color of my blood was the color of soul's eyes..they were crimson red..I really missed him..to think that he already has a girlfriend now,I decide to just end my life because I can't live without him..then after a few minutes..my body felt weak and I fall with a loud thud..

Then tsubaki come in..I cursed under my breath and she is crying now..she wrapped my bleeding wirst and hold me close to her..not caring about the blood in her clothes..she bought me to the school nurse office and put me down at the bed to be checked ..

But unfortunaly for me,It just a lot blood lost and I have to stay for a few days..I was checked by the nurse until it's done and the nurse told me to sleep..so I obeyed and go to sleep

Tsubaki POV

I can't believe it hurt him so much..He even Tried to kill himself..those soul and maka is really..even when I brought black star...He noticed it but ignore it..I was really angry now..but decide to just put that feeling away..

I was walking in the corridor and someone call me..

"tsubaki-chan!" it was patty

"oh..hey patty..liz and kid.." I faked a smile

"what's wrong with black star? I see you brought him here..what happened?" kid asked

I sighed and decide to tell them the whole story..after I done with the story..I studied their expression..patty cheerful face darkened and she was ready to kill..Liz is quite angered..and kid..even if he didn't really showvit but he's really ready going to maka and soul..to kill them

"uhm..guys..I know you want to kill them because I'm to..but-" i tried to explained

"but what tsubaki chan? They hurt black star too much..and I know how is it feel because I have gone through it too!" liz said trying to sound calm

"but black star won't be happy if we kill them..he said that as long as happy,he is too.." i explained sadly

"alright,guys..let's change our expression and go to see black star.." kid said and we all nodded in agreement

Then we're all going to the nurse office..

"liz..patty.." i called them

"what?"

"can you help me?"

P: "sure.."

L : "anything"

"please guard the door..if soul eater evans or maka albarn want to see him..please block them.."

P : "aye,sir"

L : "alright"

Then My thought was right,they're coming..I can hear their footstep..

"liz,patty..they're coming! Get ready!" I whispered-shouted..

"yeah!" they answered me in the same tone..

Soul PoV

Earlier I saw tsubaki brought blackstar to the school and when she see me her expression changed..from worried to hatred..Oh God..I don't know When I want to be NORMAL she will hate me because of black star but I undestand it..tsubaki and black star's bond is really strong..just like mother-child relationship..

"hey soul..what're you thinking about?" maka ask me

"nothing..let's go to the kids..fast! To the nurse office" soul walked away leaving maka alone

"eh?Why?! Whose hurt?!"

"Black Star"

"what? Isn't he wasn't here?"

"idk too but I see him and tsubaki.."

We run until we reached the nurse office..by the time I reached kid patty and liz already there..

"Guys!" maka shouted

"hey" only the response they gave us..and their expression looked dark and cold..just Like the look that tsubaki often give me..

"sorry evans,albarn..we can't let you in.." patty said coldly

I looked down cause I already know why is it..they know too..

"eh? Why? We're his friend too and soul is his best friend" maka said..

"yeah..soul and you 'were' his best friend before both of you hurt him..and do oyu know? you hurt him too much.." kid said

"what did soul and me do?" maka asked and I remained silent

"go..or I will kill you both.." liz said in her unusual cold voice

"why is it? Liz? Patty? Kid?" maka yelled

"so..she hasn't know?" kid whispered to me..I nodded..

"sorry soul..we know the story.."patty said

"yeah..and do you know why is he here?" liz ask

"no..why is he here?" i said and raised my head

"he..he..tried to kill himself and IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!" patty shouted the last part..I looked back down to my feet..

"patty!" liz and kid scolded

"patty? Why are you blaming soul?! He didn't know anything..!" maka told her

"You..SHUT UP!" patty yelled

"of course he knows! He knows everything..more than us know! You're the one who DON'T know anything just Shut UP!" she yelled again and I see maka flinched and stunned because of patty outburst

"sshh..calm down patty.." liz calmed her..after she was calming down,she sent maka and me her coldest glare..making me feel really small in front of her..


	4. I want to die

Meanwhile inside the room

Tsubaki Pov

"s..soul.." black star murmured in his sleep "please don't do this to me..please don't leave me..comeback soul..soul..!" i think he has a nightmare about that evans..

"s..SOUL!" he screamed and wake up

"ssh..black star..it's me..calm downn.." I calmed him down

"tsubaki.."

"what?"

"why did you brought me here?"

"because i can't let you die.."

"why?" "cause' you can't die because of SOUL!" i see him flinched when I said soul's name

"but I can't live without him! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT IT'S HURT! I seriously want To die right now tsubaki..! Give me some knife or blade PLEASE..I'm begging you tsubaki.." he shouted

"I know , black star..I know it..i know that you love him so much and I know he loves you too..the way he treated make is a different one when he treated you..you're so special in his eyes and we can clearly see it..but now he leave you and go out with maka..just..now..let him go just now and he will aware that he needed you..and only you..okay?..please black star..just ignore him now..I don't want you to hurt again because of him..okay?" I explained

"o..okay..I w-will try to ignore him.." he said and I hugged him..

He hugged back and send me a small smile in the smile, there were mixed emotions..hurt,pain,confused,betrayed.. It's hurt me to see him like that..

Soul's POV

"but I can't live without him! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT IT'S HURT! I seriously want To die right now tsubaki..! Give me some knife or blade PLEASE..I'm begging you tsubaki.."

I heard someone shouted from inside..and I think the others heard to that they ran into the room..leaving me and maka..

this sound..Black star..his usual cheerfull sound now filled with betrayal,hurt,pain..and that's all because of me! I'm just a selfish piece of shit..

Truthfully I don't have any feeling with maka..the one that I love is the one and only black star..I want to be with him..but will he forgive me now? I'm confused..

Patty's POV

"But I can't live without him! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT IT'S HURT! I seriously want To die right now tsubaki..! Give me some knife or blade PLEASE..I'm begging you tsubaki.." I heard Black Star shout

'oh my god..black star! What happened to him? Why is he shouting? And..he want to die?! Because of soul?! ' I though

"sis,kid..let's see what happened!" i call them and we rushed into the room..to see the calmed down black star..

I sighed in relief and come towards him..then hugged him..he hugged me back and give me a weak smile..

'why do you do this to him?! Soul Eater Evans?!' i shouted inside my mind and hugged him tighter

"p..patty..c-can't b-br-breathh.." he whined and struggle trying to freed himself from my hug..

"huh? S-sorry..heheheh" I put my usual cheerful face only to make him happy..

'black star..what did you do to deserve this? And soul how could you do this to him? Maybe he was sometimes annoying with his famous "yahooooo" shout..but he is the kindest and the sweetest between all of you..just..just why soul..?'

"p..patty? Why are you crying?" my sis asked me..i don't know that I was crying to..until the tears rolled down my cheek and fall to my skirt..

"patty-chan? What's wrong?" this time is tsubaki..

I can't hold it now and said " i just thinking about what did black star do to deserve this? Why did he do this to black star?!" I yelled again..

"p-patty..,m-minna ..don't worry too much about me..i'm sorry for such being a burden to the all of you..i'm so sorry..I deserve to die..please..somebody please kill me.." I heard black star cried..

and now..all of us included kid was now crying..and hugged each other..

'this kind of incident is really hard and hurt all of us..I hate this..I hate them..I hate soul and maka! I don't want to see them again! I regret to be friends with them! I thought soul is a kind and warm hearted guy..but inside he's just a heartless monster that only care about himself and not about the others. ..' i though and I cried more


	5. I'm so sorry

SOUL pov

After I told maka to go home,I stood in front of the opened door, dumbfounded

Black star..i still love you,y'know..and I can't live without you too..i'm sorry because of my selfishness..I make you like this..if I know it would be like this..I really regretted it..

black star..I'm so sorry..

now..my friends..they're all crying..because I broke our precious black star's heart..It's all my fault..I feel like a piece of shit now..if only I can turn back the time ..I won't do it..

I broke down and brought my knees to my chest..hugging it tightly and cried..why did I'm being such an asshole ?! I cried and cried until my eyes were red and swollen..then I fall asleep unpeacefully..

Black Star Pov

We had already finished our crying session but I heard sniffle sound..and that sound seems like soul..my soulmate..but it's won't be soul..now he has maka..and we don't have any relationship now..I still miss him..I love him..I want him and I need him..he is the one and only for me..soul..

"hey guys..It's already late..we must go home..black star..do you mind if we leave you alone or do you need some company?" it was tsubaki

"no..no..you can leave ..I don't need any company.." i smiled at them..

"oh..okay..bye black star..see you tommorow" after that they leave me alone..oh..how much did i need an alone time

When I was about to lay down..there's someone who is opening my room's door...I hope it was my soul..

And it seems god fulfill my wish..it was soul but..wait..what is he doing here? And his eyes were red and swollen did he cry? Why? Is it because of me? Did he still worried about me? Did he still love me? million thought come accross my mind..

I snapped back to reality when he sat down at my bed..beside me.

"hey.." he called

"h-hey.."

"how do you feel?"

"weird..I feel like I have many feelings right now.."

"is it because of me? You try to kill yourself?"

I looked down but nodded slowly..I heard him sigh..

"why,black star? "

"I think when we were still together, I said that I can't live without you..and now you're not mine..and i just want to die.." I whispered tears started rolling down my cheek..

He caressed my cheek and look into my eyes..how I miss his warmth..

"listen,black star.."

"what?"

"you know what?I hope that I can go back to the time when we broke up..I regret it..I regret every little thing that I have said that hurt you..I'm so sorry..tommorow I will break up with maka..now I know that I can't live with you..black star..I love you and I still..I just hoping that you will forgive me.." he started to cry and my gaze softened

"I..love you too soul..always and forever..And of course I forgive you..I'm sorry that I have shouted at you before.."

"no..black star you don't have to be sorry,it's all my fault.."

"no,soul..I know that you want to be no-" he cut me with a kiss..it didn't last long but it was the true feeling of us..that our love is as strong as back then..

"I love you,starry.." he pecked my cheek again

"love you too,ghosty~.." I laughed..and for the first time in awhile, my laugh is real..

"but you know what starry?" he looked at me

"what?"

"kid,liz,patty and tsubaki hate me so much now.." he pouted..how cutee~~

"eh? Why did they hate you?"

"because That time I broke your heart..I'm sorry starry.."

"no..no..its okay..I will talk with them later..now are you going home or stay with me?"

"of course..stay with my starr~~" I smiled and pecked his lip one more time before falling asleep..and that night,I feel a hand wrap around my waist..and I feel save and peaceful


	6. we're back together again

Black star pov

I wake up and it was already morning..last night was a really good dream..I dreamt about soul..in my dream he was here, apologize to me,kiss me and holding me as I'm sleep..

I struggling to get sit up but I feel something wrapped around my waist and I see what is it..oh god! It's soul..so it wasn't a dream..

I shook him wake up

"soul~" he groaned but refuse to wake up

"ghosty~" i called him and kissed his cheek ..he jolted wake up and fall from the bed..making me laugh..he pouted and a few seconds he started to laugh too..we laughed until there's a knock on the door..soul stood up and opened the door..it was tsubaki

"Soul Eater Evans! Why are you here?! Trying to broke our black star's heart again?" she shouted

"n-no..no..it's not that tsubaki..I-" soul stuttered

"your girlfriend is waiting for you.." tsubaki stated coldly..I see soul flinched when tsubaki said the 'girlfriend' word..then he come toward me..

And whispered to me " I gotta go,starry..I will end it with maka..okay? Wait here~" then he kissed me in the cheek earning a glare feom tsubaki..then he leave

"black star.." tsubaki called

"y-yes?"

"care to explain?" it sounds like statement than a question..but I just nodded and tell her what happened..

After 15 minutes, I'm done telling her the full story..she didn't ask anything but just sat there and listen carefully..

"mhm..so..you two still love each other and get back together?"

"uhm..please help me to explain it for kid liz and patty.."

"alright..I'm going to search them..I will leave you alone then.." she stated and kissed my cheek softly

Soul POV

I'm on my way searching maka..she will be really angry right? But i don't care..just want to break up with her then go back to my starry... Ah! There she is

"maka!" i shouted

"soul! Where were you?!"

"I'm with black star..maka..I have something important to tell you.."

"what is it?"

"i want to end this relationship"

"why?"

"I love other people.."

"who is it?"

"black star"

"you're gay?"

"not really..I'm bi"

"but why now?"

"because me and black star already going out for 5 years and we broke up when I said I want to be normal and now we want to get back together and truthfully I don't have any feelings for you" I explained and she slapped me..It's okay..I deserve it though

"why? I Love You Soul..why can't you just be with me and forget black star?!"

"because..I love him and it's impossible to forget him and both of us can't live without each other" i tell her softly

"alright..I understand it..now go back to him..he must be need you.." she nodded but cried..and give me a last kiss..

And then I'm on my way back to black star then I meet tsubaki on my way..

Tsubaki pov

I've already tell the three about it and they seem to be relieved because we know that soul isn't that kind of person and we are all happy because black star now seems happy too..but I still have to talk to soul..

I walked to the nurse office and meet with soul on my way there..perfect timing!

"Soul!"

"hey"

"I have to tak to you privately"

"alright..what is it?"

"you..I will give you a second chance.."

"really?! Thanks tsubakii!"

"BUT!"

"but?"

"if you ever hurt him like that again,us four..we are all ready to kill you and eat your soul..understood?!"

"yeah..anyway,thanks tsubaki.."

I smiled and hugged him whispering "your welcome"

(back to) Black Star pov

I heard someone opening the door and I sit straight up to see who is it.. It was soul..glad to see him again..

"yo,starry"

He looked happy

"yo,ghosty..why are you looked so happy?"

"I broke up with maka..and tsubaki,kid,patty,liz said they will give me a second chance.." he smiled and hugged me as I hugged him back..

"That's great!"

"I know right!" us two laughed and I took the chance to kiss him..and he kissed back right away..

Aww this moment is really the best..no one should disturb it..but suddenly we heard a click sound and pulled away immediately to see who is it and of course..it's patty..but look at her..her cheerful and smiley expression is back and the atmosphere is really good now..the best!

"Soul and black star on the bed kissing~..captured the moment ..soul and star..ghosty and starry are back now..there's no more hatred beetwen us..I love this moment.." patty sang and we laughed together

"welcome back,you lovebird.." liz kid and tsubaki welcome us

"we're back together now.." we said

"now..please kissed each other again..I want to capture that moment" patty whined

Soul and I looked at each other lovingly before we both captured each other's lip..we don't care if there was a people in there watching us..it's feel there's only us in this world..

Soul Pov

After we pulled away,I cupped his face and said

"black star..I don't wanna be normal if it's hurt you that much..but I think..can be In love with you and be with you..it was already pretty amazing than a normal one..I love you.."

He started to teared up making me shock for awhile but calmed down when he whispered

"I love you too,soul"

"Kyaaaa!" the girls squealed and laughed

"hey,starry.."

"what?"

"will you be mine forever?"

"of course I will,dummy.." and with that he kissed me again..earning an 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww' from our friends..

now,my soulmate,black star smiles again..


End file.
